Sit and Stare
by sexikat729
Summary: Yumi's life has been ruined. Her friends family and reputation are all gone. She acted like an idiot, and now she must face the results and the regret instead of wishing them away. Because sitting and staring hasn't changed a thing.
1. Reality

_**Hope you enjoy this story explaining the complications and unbelievable hardships of an average teenage girl's life. Love, loss, lessons, laughs, luck, and obviously life(Six L's, took me a while to think of some). Just pretend that an average teenage girl helps fight off evil super computers, is a bit slutty, and goes to a boarding school somewhere in Europe(maybe?).  
**_**_I don't own Code Lyoko, and no meanness please!_**

* * *

Yumi sat and stared, sat and stared, sat and stared, sat and stared, and for some strange reason nothing was happening, nothing. She thoroughly believed that if she continued to sit and stare that the whole situation would be changed. That everything that was going wrong would become right again, and finally Yumi would understand what she was supposed to do in this shitty situation and get back her great life.  
That she would all of a sudden be passing Physics class. That her parents would realize that they were truly in love and couldn't live without each other. That Ulrich would call her up and say that they were speaking again. That Aelita would text her saying it wasn't Yumi's fault, and that she and Jeremy had solved all their problems. That Odd would show up tease her and all the awkwardness between them would be gone. That Jeremy would tell her tomorrow that she was forgiven. That the hospital would call and say that Hiroki was awake and completely fine. That the whole school would greet her the next day and say that they were going to forget those awful rumors. That Yumi would know what her true feelings were.  
But now those were just little things Yumi once thought were important. But fifteen minutes ago her feelings changed, no cross that her entire existence changed. Actually no, think of it as her and everyone she cares about along with a few people she's never even met, well she made it so all their lives will all change, and it is all thanks to her ultimate stupidity. One stupid act after another, she just couldn't stop wrecking everything and one that was important to her. She ruined sacred relationships, friendships, trust, everything, and now she had this moment to top it all off.

Her sitting and staring wasn't changing the one thing she needed most to be changed, the one thing she'd give anything in the world to change. Sit and stare, sit and stare, but it was no use, sitting and staring had yet to solve anything, it wasn't going to help change this. But she could hope couldn't she? What else could she do?  
She knew that in reality sitting and staring wasn't going to change anything. That doing nothing wasn't going to make her life perfect again.  
Her family was being torn apart, her reputation had been trashed and her friends were gone. And it was all pretty much her fault, she had caused the fights, the hurt, the awkwardness, and the rumors, all of it, and she should face all of them.  
She should get up and go apologize, she should go to the hospital and confess, she should tell the truth to each and every person she knew. She should, but she can't, she never will be able to. Have you ever heard the saying, "I could, I should, I would... but I can't"? Well that's exactly how Yumi felt at that moment.  
She was scared, terrified really. For the first time in her life Yumi was so scared she was beyond knowing what to do, and the one of the worst parts was that she didn't have her friends there to pick her up now that she'd fallen down. The absolute worst part was knowing the she herself had made it that way, knowing that wasn't ever going to change. Knowing that she would have to live with that knowing for the rest of her lonely miserable existence, and regret every minute that she was still breathing on this God forsaken planet.

Yumi looked down at what was still grasped tightly in her sweaty right hand, even through all of this she never saw this little complication coming. She stood up and placed it on her bedroom's bureau, She looked up and stared at the face looking back at her in the mirror, pale and thin. A new special diet, want to lose twenty twenty pounds in one month?! Ruin your life! It's the great new way to slim down fast! All you have to do is wreck all living souls around you and act like a bitch! Order now!  
Yumi shook her head and stared at the newest little complication in her life, But staring wasn't working on this thing either.

The stick still showed a little plus sign, and no matter how long she sat and stared at it it wasn't at all changing. The plus still remained tiny and black but definitely there, mocking her in a way. Mocking her fifteen year old self for being a complete idiot. There wasn't any denying it or changing it. But couldn't it be kind to her in such a harsh time, couldn't it do one kind deed instead of make fun of her pain. One thing is all she really asked from it now that she knew.

It could at least be kind enough to tell her who the hell the father was, because Yumi didn't have a clue.

* * *

_**sexikat729: I'll update soon!**_

**_Odd: Hey wait a minute who the hell slept with Yumi!? Ulrih you've been holding out on me! How could you? (crying)_**

**_Ulrich: I didn't sleep with her! talk to pretty boy over there!_**

**_Jeremy: You mean me?_**

**_Everyone: (silence)_**

**_sexikat729: Uh(cough) I think he meant William._**

**_William: Don't look at me!_**

**_Yumi: Well don't ask me I have no idea!_**

**_Odd: Maybe we should ask Jim!_**

**_Yumi: What the hell is that supposed to mean Odd!?_**

**_Odd: Nothing! I was just, uh, oh I think Ulrich is calling me!_**

**_Ulrich: No I'm not._**

**_Odd: Bye!_**

**_Yumi: Odd!!_**

**_sexikat729: Right... Buh bye! _**


	2. Where it All Began

It all started a month ago, the beginning of the end if that's what you want to call it. It all really started in Physics class.

* * *

Yumi was currently staring at William, as per usual, dreaming of then moment as soon as the bell rang when she'd be wrapped in his strong welcoming arms. When he would lean down and whisper, "I love you Yumi." His handsome face strong and honest, waiting expectantly for her reply.

And she would lean into his embrace and whisper back, "I love you too, Ulrich." Yumi's eyes snapped open, she sat bolt upright, as soon as the words slipped into her day dream. She shook her head violently, that was not right. It was supposed to be "I love you, Wil-Ulrich." Yumi started shaking, why couldn't she think it, "William, William, William, I love you Wil..., Wil..., Wil... Ulrich." Yumi buried her head in her hands, still shaking, muttering, "God what is wrong with me!?"

"Yumi." Yumi continued to mutter to herself, "Yumi?" Mrs. Hertz tapped her desk, but Yumi remained oblivious. "Ms. Ishiyama!"

"Huh?" Yumi looked up ignoring the snickers of several of her classmates, instead flashing a quick embarrassed smile over at the supposed boy of her dreams. William smiled back at her encouragingly, it made her stomach do somersaults, she took comfort in that fact.

"Thank you for joining the class," Mrs. Hertz said, sighing. More snickers. "Now can you please tell me which of these is not a chemical change and instead is a physical change; A: A lost penny turns green in the grass. B: Rust develops on a leaky pipe, or C: A puddle freezes in the winter?"

"Uh, um" Mrs. Hertz raised a questioning eyebrow and her foot began to tap, the snickers began once again, Yumi racked her brain for the right answer, but nothing came so she took a shot in the dark, "B: The, uh pipe?" Mrs. Hertz sighed and shook her head disappointed.

"Anyone else?" Several hands shot up, and Dana Richards, a pig faced girl with frizzy brown hair, smugly answered correctly, it was A. After Dana smirked triumphantly Mrs. Hertz turned back to Yumi, disappointed.

Yumi returned her disappointed stare, lately things around her house had been tense, and she really couldn't focus on homework and studying. The bell rang and yet Yumi didn't look up as she shuffled her textbooks into a neater than nessecary pile.

"Yumi can I talk to you for a minute?" Yumi sighed. She knew that was coming, this couldn't be good, she must be getting somewhere around a C at the moment. Her parents wouldn't be all that happy, not like they were all sunshine and rainbows at the moment anyway.

"Yumi" She looked up at Mrs. Hertz, "Is everything okay at home."

"Yeah," Yumi lied, "Everythings fine. Look I know that my grades aren't as great as usual but I've been distracted. I'll get my grades back up by the end of term." She felt totally okay with that, it would be easy to go right back to an A.

"Yumi, term ends in one month" Mrs. Hertz said slowly, "And right now you are completely failing this course." Everything became cold, She could feel her body going numb, "I'm sorry, but there's no way you'll be able to bring up your grade enough to pass."

And that's where it all began.


	3. Not Right

Life's too short.

Live life to the fullest.

A life without risks is not a life well lived.

All those people who believe those quotes...

Are idiots.

You know why those people are idiots. Because right know I'm thinking; At least 2 years of diapers, 14 years of school, 4 years of college, 4 years of med or law school perhaps, wedding, a divorce, grandkids. All of the following will take years of work for my daughter or son to achieve. Thats not even including medical bills, babysitters, housing, food, travel, car, gas, dental works, clothes, all the necessities of everyday life. My future was now very clear in front of me, and it seemed a long and miserable road od debts and meaningless hours of labor as well as fights. And in my current situation I was going to be walking that path at the young age of fifteen and...

_alone._

* * *

"Yumi? Hey Yumi what's up?"

I snapped I head instinctively in the direction of the all to familiar voice and immediately cursed myself for doing so. But Ulrich continued to look at my worriedly.

"It's nothing" I said and turned my head back to continue watching William practice with the team. Ulrich and I had been friends way too long, he always knew when I am feeling upset.

"Yumi come on, tell me. We're friends" Ulrich said coolly.

For some reason something seemed to shot through my heart at that moment and my head starting spinning, my body trembled and my heart ached, "Shouldn't you be getting back to practice, Ulrich?" I asked way too harshly as I kept my eyes focused on William.

"STERN!!! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT KNOW!!!" The coach called from the field. Ulrich ignored him staring at me. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribs, silently praying he would go to release me from his crazy spell.

He was silent for a moment before answering quietly, "If you need anything you know where to find me Yumi." He gaze my hand a squeeze before running onto the field. I looked down at my hand clammy which surprised me since it felt like it was on fire. When I looked up I saw William staring at me. I met his gaze only for him to turn and glare at Ulrich. And I knew he'd seen that simple gesture, and I also knew that he did not look happy about it.

And that not happy look made me happy, like really happy. It wasn't because I was happy that William was jealous. It was because that meant there was a reason I could believe there was something for William to be jealous about. That maybe Ulrich's friendly squeeze was beyond friendly, that maybe it was on another level completely. I of course felt disgusted for thinking this and decided I needed to apologize immediately to William.

* * *

"Uh Mom?" I was just going to say, 'Mom, I'm failing Physics. Mom, I'm failing Physics.'

"Yes honey what is it?" My mother asked coolly.

'I'm failing Physics' I tooka deep cleansing breath and said "William's coming over later." Not a lie, but definitely not what I wanted to say.

"Okay honey, but can you please pick your brother up from his friend's house at six, please?"

"Sure thing mom." I mumbled disappointed in myself just as I heard the doorbell ring. As I went to answer it I glanced at the clock, it was 4:30.

Just as William stepped inside my mom stepped out and that left us alone on the house.

It seemed that as soon as the door had swung shut William was screaming. I wasn't really listening to him but I caught the jist of it. He wanted to know if I really loved him. I just stared at him until he stopped screaming and then I kissed him, and kissed him and kissed him and then more........ and that led to candidate number one, William.


	4. Where the Fault Lies

**_An accident_**

**_Becomes a mistake_**

**_Which becomes a regret_**

**_Which becomes a secret_**

**_Which becomes a lie_**

**_Which makes life miserable_**

**_Until the truth is revealed_**

**_-_**

If only it were that simple.

* * *

I couldn't look at William, couldn't look at the mistake I'd just made. I just stared at the clock waiting as the minutes ticked by as William slept next to me. "Uh William" I said quietly, still avioding looking at his face.

"What?" He asked sleepily.

"I have to go pick up my brother."

"Can't he walk himself home." He mumbled.

"No he cannot." I said, I just wanted William gone, poof. Disappeared forever.

"Yumi come on-" William said as I finished dressing and began to push him out the door. I refused to talk or look at him at all and it aggrivated him.

"Just-just go home, okay?" I stuttered trying to hide the fact that I was on the verge of tears.

"Yumi" William said desperately.

"Bye" I said as I locked the front door and ran in the direction to pick up Hiroki.

* * *

I haad been walking for a good couple 20 minutes and was almost at Hikori's friend's house when I just happen to see Hikori walking home "Hey, what are you doing?"

He started and looked at me with a disbelieving expression "I thought you forgot about me. You do that a lot."

"Oh" I guess I couldn't really deny that. And so we walked in silence for the next 15 minutes. Night had fallen and traffic was picking up so I had Hikori stand closer to me.

"Yumi are you ok?" He asked suddenly

"Yeah why?" I askerd but he wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Nothing" He said like he was embarassed.

"Don't nothing me, tell me." I said jokingly

"It's just..." He trailed off and I began to get frustrated. _'Why can't he just say it' _I wondered.

"Just...?" I egged him on.

"You've been away a lot lately..." He whispered not looking at me.

That's when I blew it. I was sick of everyone thinking there was something wrong, sick of everyone thinking they knew everything about me. I was just plain sick of everyone "Well excuse me for having a life!" I couldn't help but scream.

"That's not what I-" Hikori shook his head trying not to anger me more by the looks of it.

"Just shut up." And I shoved him. Hard.

He stumbled into the road rubbing his shoulder. "Ow you don't have-" But he didn't finish his sentence. Instead there was honking, a scrreech and a loud crash just as Hikori screamed.

"HIROKI!!!" But it was too late. The blood was everywhere/ Screams filled the air and all I could think was _'How am I going to tell Mom?'_

* * *

"Mr. and Mrs. Ishiyama I'm sorry but Hiroki is nonresponsive." The doctor said solemnly. It'd been two hours since

"Is he brain-dead?!" Mom cried hysterically. Both she and Dad had arrived half and hour after the ambulance dropped us off. No surprise they had begun arguing since they stepped into the same room. They were crying and screaming nonstop.

"No, thankfully, but his coma is deep. That car hit him with quite a lot of force, he's lucky to be alive." I felt a bit relieved. He was not dead.

"Ms. Ishiyama what happened?" A police officer asked for the fifth time in the last hour, but this time my parents joined in.

"Yumi?" My mom said her eyes sharp and curious.

"I was walking him home and he, was jumping around and then just ran into the strreet. Before I knew what was happening there was a crash." I repeated the same story again.

"Oh Hiroki!" My mother wailed

"How could he be so irresponsible. The stupid stupid boy!" Dad groaned then turned his fury on Mom "What is wrong with you" He shouted

"Me?!" She shrieked disgusted.

"Yes you, you gave that boy too much freedom!" More shouts more screams. I continued ot shake where I stood.

"Excuse me for not locking him away in the house like you!" She yelled.

"You should have picked him up yourself!" Dad screamed right back and I could see Mom begin to blame herself, And i blamed her too. Why hadn't she picked him up? Hikori was her son!

"I had plans!" She screamed back, her face deathly white. Dad turned dark red.

"Doing what?!" He yelled.

"None of your business!" I just wanted them to shut up.

"You shouldn't have let Yumi go and get him!" I froze where I was, they knew.

"She's a big girl I thought she coulld handle it!" Mom said and I started to cry harder.

"Mom Dad I-I'm so so sorry!" I wailed. It was all my fault.

"Oh sweetheart! We're sorry!" Dad said seeming to forget the fight.

"It's ok honey it's not your fault. We would never blame you!" Mom murmured hugging me, still glaring at Dad/

"That's right, it was an accident." My dad growled his voice hard.

* * *

I didn't look back as I ran from the hospital, didn't stop until I reached their dorm. "Hello?" He opened the door and a starled look replaced his sleepy one. "Yumi?" And I kissed him, kissed him like tomorrow didn't exist and that tonight was the perfect night.

I just wanted to forget. Forget that it was my fault. Forget that it was unforgivable. Forget what I did with William. Forget that whole day. Forget that I would never forget. So I made another big mistake.


End file.
